and I don't expect anyone to check this.. but in case my sister does.. I'm updating.

I want the entire world to know that I love my sister. She's amazing. And I love her. A lot. so.. this post is for her..

    our family has changed so much since then but we still all love each other =] remember Bob?? and pastilla?? and when Kai was born?? turtle baby..
  and jesus... and my little Brahimi he had attitude wayyy back then and when I was so gangsta people were jealous.. :P   this is my BROTHER..   and the adorable Abraham Kai.. and Jordan in his compression shirt  end of this blog

xox,
TJ

DESPERATE

[Verse 1: Lecrae]
Woke up this morning too depressed and shamed to leave my bed
Cant stand to see my own reflection so I hang my head
feel like a disappointment like the scum of the earth
I'm so hurt I know you see I cant cover my dirt
my souls dying hearts weak and I cant even cry
I'm supposed to run to you but WHY I'm such an evil guy
The sun's shining but for me it's the darkest of days
Try to pretend it never happened but the guilt remains
I leave the house it feels like everybody knows I did it
Feel like they reading my mind and know the sin I committed
Through your blood I'm acquitted but my heart doesn't get it
Oh God I'm desperate for Help cause I'm grieving your Spirit
I couldn't sing in the Sunday service, Lord I felt fake
and when they started communion I just made an escape
I'm in need of your grace/ feels like you hid your face
Lord Lead me back to cross and show me my sins erased

[Hook: Cam]
I'm so desperate, I can't believe I've sinned against you
Create in me a clean heart (I'm so sorry)
Your mercy is what I need

[Verse 2: Lecrae]
I'm waste deep in my pity Is Satan trying to trick me
and tell me you wont forgive me cause it's starting to get me
Jesus help me quickly I hate the wrong I've done
I know we all fall but I feel like the only one
Feels like I should be shunned should I punish myself
I know it's dumb cause by your death all my sin has been dealt
But my sin is been felt I didn't want to do it
but what I want to do I don't I swear I'm going through it
I'm trying open up my bible need to read your pages
need you Lord but my guilt has got me feeling so faithless
Help me see where grace is take me back to the basics
help me find my joy in you and not people and places
my sin is ever before me I turned my back on you
Oh father break and restore me to bring me back to you
my sin is ever before me I turned my back on you
God break and restore me to bring me back to you

[Hook]

[Verse 3: Lecrae]
have mercy on me God according to your steady love
wipe away my transgressions and wash me in your blood
Create in me a clean heart renew a right spirit
Don't hide your face from me God your Presence keep me near it
I'm waiting patience on you Lord I know you hear my cry
Restore your Joy in me for you alone I live and die
It's you I Glorify cause you don't want my sacrifice
you want me broken and contrite trusting in the Christ
I confess to you my sin and you show me mercy
I turn away from it demonstrating that you are worthy
over lust, over pride, over all sin
is my affection for Jesus who died for all them
I was lost now I'm found I was toss to the ground
My sin weighed on me heavy but I am no longer bound
As sure as Christ wear the crown I know that grace will abound
And even when I feel lost I know in You I am found

[Hook]

My all-time favorte Cory Russell quote is
"You only have as much God as you want"
It's soooo true. If I really wanted more God I would seek him. I would fast by giving up legitimate worldly pleasures for the greater pleasures of God. Which is what I'm going to do. I'm only getting on Facebook, Myspace, Here and anyother website on Saturdays for an hour. All the other days I can only check my Gmail and then I need to be done. No MSN.. nothing. and I can't until after I have my quiet time. I have to make these serious commitments or I would take it all to lightly and it would never work. Anyways, it's been just over an hour so I really need to get off.

xox world - until next time!
Talia